One-Sided Affections

Image from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Mike: I’d like to talk with you. I mean, I’d like to… I’d like to really talk with you. We’re talking right now, but you know. I don’t know. I, I don’t feel like I can be… I don’t feel like I can be close to you… We’re close. Right now we’re close, but I mean… you know…
Scott: Uh… How close? I mean?
Mike: Ah, I don’t know. Whatever…
Scott: What?
Mike: What do I mean to you?
Scott: What do you mean to me? Mike, you’re my best friend.
Mike: I know man. I know, I know I’m your friend. We’re good friends and it’s good to be… you know, good friends. That’s a good thing.
Scott: So?
Mike: So I just…

This is a dialogue from My Own Private Idaho. Do you recognize this conversation? Not necessarily the same words, but the gist of it. And not necessarily with someone of the same sex; often its with the opposite sex. But in general... have you ever been in this situation?

I’ve had this conversation a couple of times in my life. Sometimes I was Mike. Sometimes I was Scott. Either way it’s uncomfortable. That curious condition when one party wants more than the other party is willing to give; or when one party feels more than the other one feels.

I’ve just recently experienced it again. This time (lucky for me?) I was Scott. I care for the friend, but just not as much or in the same way. It’s a difficult situation to be in since you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, but you also don’t want to encourage their hopes. Such hope is futile – things won’t change. I don’t know if there is any convenient solution to the problem. In the end, the Mikes usually get hurt.

I have sympathy... I too have been the victim of unrequited love in my life. But even so, I cannot create what is not there, nor will I fool anyone by pretending.