"You only talk about the material"

"Professor," laments my student today, "you only talk about the material. Other professors sometimes talk about social events or personal things, but you only talk about our class work."

And here I was, thinking that I have been slacking off a little bit and should in fact refocus so that I can get my students their money's worth --- but it seems that is not what they want after all. What they want is a teacher that shares personal stories and make social musings about the latest Hollywood gossip or other unrelated topics.

It is untrue that I never share personal anecdotes as this student who is in two of my classes well know. I share much of myself with them, but only in so far as it is relevant to the subject material. But that is the point, isn't it. They don't want to be bothered with the subject material.

As the student continued: "I know it is good for us [that you always focus on the material], but sometimes we are tired and don't want to think too hard." Well, I feel tired too and would sometimes love to just sit back and talk about the weather or the latest movies in the cinemas. But that's not what I get paid to do. I'm curious how the contracts of other professors in my department read. Maybe they have a clause that says that we can sometimes talk about the weather and the latest movies in the cinemas.

Black Tulip

I live at a very nature-rich place, with flowers blooming wonderfully this time of year. Everywhere it is green again, with splashes of bright floral colours. There are many flowers that grow here; I particularly love the daffodils and tulips. Beside the path towards my apartment I saw this exquisite dark-maroon tulip, so dark it looks nearly black. I feel very blessed to experience such beauty.

A Dream about Misfits and Bullies

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I had a weird dream. Or should I just say that I dreamt, since all my dreams tend to be weird—I can't remember if I ever had a dream that was not somehow, somewhat abnormal.

In any case, with some fillers for it to make sense, here is what I dreamed:

I am somewhere in a public bathroom standing in front of a urinal and doing the things one do in front of urinals when about four or five boys, anything from twelve to sixteen years of age, enters and starts knocking on the door of one of the occupied toilet stalls. They obviously know who is in there—another boy—and calls him names, telling him to open the door and come out. Some of the boys even climb onto the partition and look over into the toilet stall, saying things like “the faggot is tossing” and the like.

I continue to the basin and start washing my hands, while looking at the action behind me in the reflection of the mirror. The kids seem not to be bothered by my presence. As I shake the water from my hands and start to dry them with some paper towels an adult steps in, at which one boy says excitedly, “Dad, the faggot is in here!” The man, with hair dishevelled and a beer belly, steps to the toilet door and calls to the kid inside, “Open up that door you little faggot!”

To my surprise the door actually clicks open and out steps a nerdy, somewhat goofy looking kid. Because he is a little plump and possibly big for his age it makes it a little difficult to guess his age, but I'd go with about eleven or twelve. “Now show this little faggot what we do to fucks like him,” says the adult, at which point I step forward and says, “So you're the adult coming to solve the kids' problem, are you?”

“Yes,” he answers. “Unless you are someone important who knows people in high places, you better stay out of it.”

“As a matter of fact,” replied I, “I am someone important and know many people in high places.” Even in the dream I had no idea why I considered myself important or who these people in high places are that I referred to, but nonetheless I said it without missing a beat. “Leave the kid alone.”

The guy clearly didn't like my attitude. “Fuck you,” he said, and swung at me, at which I guarded with one arm and stepped to his inside letting his fist pass me, and with my other arm I delivered two very quick elbow strikes to the side of the guys head. As his knees buckled I quickly stepped behind him, wrapped an arm around his neck into a choke-hold and pulled him backward so that he was off-balance.

“Get out,” I said sternly to the kids who started to scramble out off the room; and to the victimised boy I said, “Wait for me. I will walk with you.” I feared that the other kids might jump him outside once he is alone, so I wanted to make sure he got where he needed to get safely.

Then I turned my attention back to the guy I was holding. “Now you listen to me. If I ever hear you mistreat anybody that is somehow different from you, you better sleep very light, because I will find you and when I am finished with you, you will be the different one. Do you get me?” Nearly purple in the face, the guy nodded at which I let him go and he dropped to the floor gagging.

Touching the goofy kid on the shoulder, I led him outside.

That's the dream.

I guess my subconscious harbours some anger towards bullies.

All things come to those who wait, or nag long enough

Since I started working at my current job I have been complaining about the slowness of my computer. Even though they gave me a new computer at the time (2008), it has been terribly slow. I've complained numerous times, only to hear that my computer is too new to be replaced. From the very started my solution had been to go work at home whenever I needed to really work on a functioning computer. While my home computer is not glitch-free, at least it is fast.

Last year I again complained to the IT-office about my slow computer and again they told me the same thing, the computer is not old enough to be replaced, but what they will do instead is install Windows 7. Imagine this, having an already slow computer and then adding a new operating system to it, designed for newer hardware. Since I thought that maybe the problem was with all the old network settings or whatever they customarily install and tweak for university computers I decided that maybe giving it a good format and re-installing everything afresh might just do the trick. But no, the problem is simply that the computer does not have enough RAM.

Finally this week I was so frustrated that I felt like punching something. I begged the the IT-office, telling them that I am willing to buy memory myself and install it, but I can't continue like this any longer. Surprise-surprise, this morning they came and replaced the 1GB RAM with a 2GB RAM.

Similarly my desk chair has been in a terrible state for months. I have complained about it in November last year already, sending them detailed photographs of the problem. Six months later, and after some more complaining, at last they replaced my chair a few days ago.

The boiler in my apartment has been giving me some problems too. I complained before and they sent out a technician but it didn't help much. Months later and after some more complaining another technician came today. At least this one seem to have found the cause of my boiler erratic behaviour which often causes my lovely, hot and relaxing shower to suddenly turn into a frightening encounter with the icy claws of death. The technician was supposed to return later today to replace some new parts, but he didn't show. So I guess I will have to resume my complaining tomorrow again.

There are more things in need of complaint, but I will do them one at a time. At least some of the things on my checklist are being addressed. Now, if I can only get my department to change those dreadful meetings at 8:30 on Wednesday morning life would indeed be taking a wonderful turn for the better.  

Mmm . . .

James Madison (1751–1836)

“History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and it's issuance.” ― James Madison

Want to know what is wrong with the world economy? Just listen to James Madison, the fourth president of the United States of the America, and “Father of the Constitution”.

A Confession of Momentary Loneliness -- and the Remedy of Art

Yesterday afternoon after I taught my last class for the week, 19th Century English Poetry--we are currently covering Lord Byron--I was suddenly overcome with loneliness. It is a queer feeling and is a bit like a headache for me, which is another sensation I very seldom experience. And that is the problem with both loneliness and headaches; because I so seldom feel these phenomena, they feel extra acute when I do experience them. I very seldom feel lonely. I'm usually too busy, to be honest. My life is filled with so many things, that there is hardly the time to be lonely. Then, there are also many people in my life. I am richly blessed with friendships, although many of my closest friends are not close at hand. Another reason I don't experience loneliness much is because I actually enjoy alone-time. I am an introvert. Many people are surprised when I tell them this, because I'm not shy and love meeting people, yet I'm an introvert in the sense that I recharge alone and have a need for lone-time. I think part of the reason I've been quite content not being married yet is because I really do enjoy my time alone.

So when a sudden bout of loneliness strikes, it is often a shocking sensation and it sometimes take me a while to figure out what it is I'm feeling. What I felt yesterday was a sense of loss and loneliness; something that the mere presence of people--just any ol' people--would not have been able to fill. I realized my longing for company yesterday when I headed off to go watch a movie. Unlike most people who cannot imagine going to the movies alone, I actually prefer watching movies alone. For me, watching a movie is not a social event. It is not as if we are going to the cinema to have a conversation. In fact, I often find watching movies with friends distracting. I really love watching movies, and sincerely go for the movie itself, and therefore watching a movie by myself is actually one of the things I enjoy doing. It is something I started to do from a very early age, and have always felt quite comfortable in doing so. Yet yesterday, I really did not want to go to the movies by myself--this then, was the cue for me that I'm having an "attack" of loneliness.

Nevertheless, I was on my way to see Iron Man 3 when a friend texted me to tell me of a small show of hers being played at an art festival. She is a theater director and often invites me to her shows. Not one to give up on free shows I quickly changed my plans from going to a cinema to going to an art festival.

While I enjoyed my friend's production, it was the dance performance afterwards that really did it for me. I've noted before how dance--bodies in motion--has an uplifting effect on me. One particular show I saw last year had an almost life-changing effect on me. The art festival yesterday (which continues the whole weekend) was just what the Doctor ordered. I reveled in the sounds and movements and images and could hardly sit still in my chair. I just wanted to jump up and move along with them. It was wonderful. Walking back to the subway station I saw beauty where ever I looked and took photos with my phone as far as I walked. Below are some of the photos I took. (The collage above is also something I made from the pictures I took yesterday.)

I can't say that my sense of loneliness has completely parted, but it is not as acrid as it was yesterday. In fact, it is a Saturday night and instead of going out I'm actually planning to stay in and relax, watching the final episode of the Lord of the Rings trilogy which I started re-watching two weeks ago. In any case, tomorrow will be a full day with people around me.

"Korean Wave"

"The Mermaid's Palace"

"Phallus"

"Muses"

"Holding on to Dreams"

"Pyramid"

"Lovers"

"Open Door Policy" 

"The Green Witch and Her Apprentice"

"Fireworks" 

Two Bags

I bought two bags recently.

The one I bought at a flea market -- the Seoul Folk Flea Market, to be exact. An old second-hand leather bag. It is not very big -- big enough for a book or two and my cellphone. Just the right size for when I don't feel like carrying anything heavy, but also don't want to put things in my pant pockets. It actually has two long bands, so it functions as a small backpack. Somebody told me it looks a bit girlish (I guess because of the size), but I love it.

The other bag I bought online as a pouch for my laptop. Since I bought my laptop only a few months ago it has already gotten some scratches on its body from carrying it in my regular backpack together with all the other things I have in there, so I started hunting for something appropriate. In an Apple Store I saw something that I really liked -- a pouch for an 11" Macbook Air, but it cost around $80. A friend suggested I look online, which I did, and bought something similar for much cheaper. Honestly I didn't expect the quality to be as high as the bag I saw in the Apple Story, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a great purchase.

Cats & Dogs

Laura Miller, in her essay "Cat People vs. Dog People" provides the following succinct description of the points-of-view of Dog People vs. Cat People.

Dog people profess to be baffled by the cat person's affection for an animal that provides so little active amusement: Cats will not frolic for you in the surf or fetch sticks or point with their noses at a bird for you to shoot. Because cats can't be trained to do the same sorts of tricks that dogs do, they are considered to be less intelligent, and paratively aloof or indifferent to humans. Dog people think cat people are suckers for doting on sneaky, selfish creatures that only pretend to like people in order to get food and other goodies and that will never, say, jump into a raging, flood-swollen river to rescue a small child at the risk of their own lives, as the faithful hound supposedly will.

Cat people heap contempt on dog people for actually thinking a dog's devotion counts for much. A dog's love for its owner is, cat people say, entirely instinctual, indiscriminate and often unearned by it''s object; you are not loved for yourself but for the position you assume in the dog's life--anyone else would do as well. Therefore, dog owners must be so desperate for love as to be nearly undeserving of it. The willingness of dogs to learn tricks is a result not of their intelligence but of their dopey eagerness to please. That cats can't be bothered to sit or heel on command is, their partisans insist, a sign that they are more clever by half. Cats are also self-cleaning, slobber-free, hand when you've got a mouse problem and on't have to be walked.

The rest of Miller's essay is also well worth reading. I wrote something similar--with my cat preference clearly spelled out--back in 2009 in Afrikaans.

Personally, although I have had and loved dogs, I am undeniably a cat person. It is indeed the fact that one has to earn a cat's love, that I like about them. In this regard a relationship with a cat is more on an equal plane, rather than a master-subject relationship as is the case with dogs. But actually, I just find cat's very beautiful. A part of it is that they are hunters, I think. Dogs, like jackal, are mostly scavengers. Yes, dogs do hunt, but when they do it is usually as part of a pack, which reminds me a bit of gangs. Cats, on the other hand, would find the idea of being part of a pack, a gang, a posse, quite distasteful--as do I. I'm guessing that is part of it, isn't it? I don't like groups and am not someone to succumb to peer pressure. With friends I prefer the depth of one-on-one encounters, rather than the superficiality of a party.

I found the following video quite hilarious.

About Women's Beauty and the Absence of Manhood

Dove has a new video that is going viral at the moment. It is about women's flawed self-perceptions and how they tend to perceive themselves in a negative light in comparison to how other's see them.



I liked the video -- but then the person who sent it to me, also sent me a link to a blogger's analysis of the video. The blogger made some piercing observations and highlighted a big problem with modern expectations of beauty. I highly recommend you watch the video and read the blogger's post.

The post made me think of one of my favourite essays which I do in one of my classes every year. It is by Susan Sontag and about the problem of beauty--how it is both a power source for women, but also a way of negating power from women--a way to always make them the fairer, and by implication, the weaker sex. Anyone interested in gender equality and parents concerned about the values they teach their daughters will find value in reading Sontag's "Women's Beauty: Put-Down or Power Source?" (No copyright infringement is intended with the sharing of this link.)

This then made me think of something else I read recently regarding men. While women in the modern Western world have seized the gender equality they deserve, men have in a sense abdicated their role as men. Young men, it seems, get stuck in a state of pre-adulthood: neither adolescent, nor adult; unwilling to grow up and take up the responsibilities of manhood, leaving the question: "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" The article is a very interesting read.

I think part of the problem is the lack of fathers, mentors, and role-models. In years gone by, sons used to learn a family trade. This close working relationship between father and son was a way to nurture the boy into adulthood. "Masculinity is bestowed," as John Eldredge so famously said in his book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul. A boy becomes a man through the guidance of his father (or a father figure). The problem is, however, that father's are generally absent; they may be workaholics--as my father was--or just plain missing, and the boy has to stumble his way towards adulthood without the guidance he needs. Sure he becomes an adult, but does he truly become a man? I wrote about my personal journey in adulthood and manhood some years back. It is still a topic I find fascinating.

I've watched the first season of Kitchen Nightmares recently and a common theme that I noticed was how these men (often the problems in the restaurants featured in the series involved a man not manning up to responsibility) really just needed someone who can tell him to get his act together, but also tell him that he has faith in him, that he can make it. In other words, these men just needed an involved and encouraging father (-figure). I wonder how much of the world's problems are centered in this very issue: absent, uninvolved fathers?

Even though there is still room for progress, there have been many good changes towards gender equality. At the same time, however, the genders have also lost much of their innate respective value, and it seems to be at a cost.

Pocket -- reading the webpages I don't have the time to read, but want to

One of the elements on the side of this blog included a list titled Web Pages I Fully Intend to Read One of These Uncertain Days. These were things I found interesting and hope to read eventually, but they are not a priority so I just listed them there for when I have the free time to get to them. The thing is, however, whenever I do have the free time, I'm not necessarily in front of my computer and when I am in front of my computer I often have more pressing or interesting things I'd like to do instead.

Here's the list of pages I haven't gotten to yet. Some of them have been on that list for a couple of years!

• On African American History & Music
• On America's Violence Culture
• On Asian Leads Replaced by Caucasians in Film
• On a Biomass Eating Robot
• On Codex Alimentarius
• On Creating the Future of Learning
• On Freelance Writing Jobs
• On Gold Strategy
• On Ikhana Unmanned Science and Research Aircraft System
• On John Kent (poems)
• On Martial Arts Scepticism
• On Tales of the Black Freighter
• On the 18th Fighter Bomber Wing in Korea
• On the Importance of History
• On What Postmodernism Was 

Then I discovered Pocket. This great app allows me to save webpages from my browser with one click into my "pocket", allowing me to retrieve them on any computer or on my smart phone during those times I do actually have the time to read something, like while commuting on the bus or subway, while waiting in line somewhere, or in the movie theater during the trailers before the feature starts.

What I like about Pocket is that it renders the webpages in an easy to read format, similar to a Kindle reader, making the reading clutter free and efficient. One can also add tags to the pages to sort them according to keywords. It is not really a feature I have used much yet, but I can see the value in it, and as I start to use Pocket for more focused reading, I will definitely use it. I've tried some other online readers, but this is definitely my favourite at the moment.

The North Korean Threat

Image Source

A number of concerned family and friends have been texting me, asking what the situation here in Korea is like--if I am safe? So I decided to quickly respond in this post.

The first important thing to realize is that the two countries are technically still at war. However, since 1953 when the countries agreed on a seize fire, the peninsula has been relatively peaceful. Of course there had been the occasional incident, just to underscore the point that the two countries are still at it, but has been mostly symbolic rather than truly serious. Particularly North Korea has felt a need to bark up the tree every so often. I guess it is good for their suffocating economy and every dictator knows it helps to keep the masses in check if you keep them focused on an outside threat. It is not altogether different from what even democracies are doing, for instance America's constant focus on the terrorist threat.

Regardless of North Korea's recent war talks, in both South Korea and North Korea life is continuing on as usual--whatever "life as usual" means for these two countries respectively. In South Korea it means that people are still going to work early and coming home late, the K-Pop stars are still dancing provocatively, and kimchi is still eaten by the tons. The new South Korean president has issued a statement that South Korea would unwaveringly retaliate to any North Korean attack if it occurs, but that is to be expected of a leader, and especially of a new one. President Park was only elected a few months ago. She also said that girls that show too much skin in their daily fashions will get a $50 fine. Politicians say many things about many things.

Basically, I'm not too concerned and I don't think my life is in any more danger than it would have been had I lived in South Africa. In fact, I think South Korea is by and large much safer than South African, even with the North Korean threat.

Now, it is not wholly impossible for war to occur. America and South Korea's joint military exercises are definitely displays of threat, which is putting the jittery North Korea on edge. Particularly the United States' stealth bombers which had been flying over the Korean peninsula of late could cause a trigger-happy, insecure boy-dictator to act irresponsible. Whether the North Korean leader is indeed trigger-happy and insecure I do not know. I doubt he is stupid though. He must know that a war would be the end of him. American and South Korean forces far out weigh North Korea's outdated arsenal of weapons and a war would mean the end of the Kim-regime just as the Iraqi war meant the end of Saddam Hussein.

So what would make me sit upright in my chair? Well, if North Korea suddenly expel or imprison the South Korean workers at the Kaesong Industrial Region. This is basically an industrial complex just north of the North Korea-South Korea border (i.e. in North Korea). North Koreans and South Koreans both work at the industrial complex. The moment we see North Korea shut down the complex, or deny South Korean workers access, or imprison South Koreans at the complex--that is when I will worry about war on the peninsula. Since the industrial complex started in 2003, production there has not stopped even during the most tumultuous back-and-forth bickering between the two countries.

The latest news is that it is still "Business as Usual at the Kaesong Industrial Park", although some say that there is some tension in the air.

Another element that could also suggest actual trouble is China's reaction. China is North Korea's main and probably only ally. This means that China has the best insight into North Korean politics. Beijing and Pyongyang also have a defense treating, so that the one would come to the other's aid in time of war. What is worrying is that China has been sending military towards the North Korean border since the middle of March. In other words, China is backing up its promise to aid North Korea in a time of war. What we are seeing here is both the United States of America and China are showing solidarity to their allies. If war action were to take place in Korea, it would be a world war, not merely a local war, affecting everyone around the world.

Mmm . . .

"Killing things is not so hard; it's hurting that's the hardest part."
-- from Trout Heart Replica by Amanda Palmer

Korean Paradoxes

South Korea is a very paradoxical country. In some ways it is uber conservative, where women are still expected to obey their husbands, following Confucian ideas. Then, there is this decision by a court regarding transgenders:

Seoul Western District Court ruled in favor of accepting requests from five female-to-male transgender individuals to have their family register listing altered to be classified as male. None of the five has undergone operations to surgically alter their sex organs.

Now keeping this ruling in mind, try to wrap your mind about what President Park (South Korea's first female president) did recently when she signed a law making it illegal for women to don clothing that is too revealing. Many believe it to be aimed at the popularity of mini-skirts and "hot pants" often worn by Korean women.

It is baffling to me to think that a country could be liberal enough to accept transgender people, yet so conservative that it frowns upon mini skirts.

If I had the time I would have loved to start a new blog called "Korean Paradoxes".

Which Francis?

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The new Bishop of Rome has chosen the name Pope Francis I. Most commentators assumes that he chose this name in honour of St Francis of Assisi, but I am doubtful. The new Pope is a member of the Jesuit Order founded by Ignatius of Loyola. In the early Jesuit Order there were six prominent figures, one of them was Francis Xavier, a co-founder of the Jesuit Order, and later to be canonized as Saint Francis Xavier. If the new Pope was going to name himself after a Francis, it is more than likely after his Jesuit ancestor St Francis Xavier, someone from his own order, rather than St Francis of Assisi founder of the Franciscans, another order. The Jesuits are extremely loyal.

Does it matter whether he named himself after St Francis of Assisi or after St Francis Xavier? Well, anyone that knows a bit about the Jesuit Order will tell you that it surely does matter. We live in exciting times.

Then again, I may be wrong . . .

'n (Sjinese) Verjaarsdag, klasdraf, 'n verstandtand en 'n romantiese zombie-fliek

Verlede week was my verjaarsdag. Ek dink volgens een of ander psalm in die Bybel het ek nou die helfde van my lewe geleef. So 'n mylpaal behoort gevier te word. Ongelukkig was daar geen geleentheid vir partytjie hou nie. Op dieselfde dag wat my verjaarsdag was, het ek van bitter vroeg tot goed laat klasgedraf. My doktorsgraadklasse is almal op eendag in geprop (ek kan slegs eendag per week by my werk afkry). Aangesien die universiteit waar ek studeer in 'n ander stad is moet ek reeds vroeg uit die vere en op die pad wees. Ek is juis tans oppad terug huistoe en sit op 'n bus en tik op my skootrekenaar. Die laaste klas het vanaand rondom 21:00 klaar gemaak, wat beteken dat ek so teen 23:00 tuis sal wees. En dit is 'n goeie aand--klasse is drie ure lank en die laaste klas wat om 19:00 begin kan by regte tot 22:00 aanhou, in welkgeval ek eers rondom middernag by die gaan kom.

Omdat ek verlede week my verjaarsdag gemis het, kry ek skielik die blink idee oor die naweek om my verjaarsdag op die Sjinese maankalender te volg eeder as die Gregoriaanse sonkalender. Baie Koreane vier hulle verjaarsdag op die maankalender eerder as die sonkalender. Ek gaan toe op 'n wilde soektog om uit te vind op watter dag is ek gebore volgens die Sjinese kalender en sien toe dat ek op die derde dag van die tweede maand gebore is. Die derde dag van die tweede maand val hierdie jaar op verlede Donderdag. Maw, ek het oor daardie geleentheid om my verjaarsdag te vier gemis.

So wat het ek verlede Donderdag gedoen? Wel, ek het 'n kiestand wat my al 'n rukkie lank pla en besluit toe verlede Donderdag om die tandarts te besoek. Nadat hy 'n X-straal van my kies geneem het kondig hy aan dat dit 'n verstandtand is wat die moeilikheid maak en dat ek dit sal moet verwyder, nou is goed. En toe sommer net daar en dan, sonder enige emosionele voorbereiding verloor ek 'n verstandtand, so op my Sjinese verjaarsdag. Getraumatiseerd besluit ek toe dat ek nie Taekwon-Do gaan oefen nie (nie met 'n seermond nie) en dat ek 'n fliek gaan kyk.

Die fliek was "Warm Bodies" -- 'n romantiese komedie met zombies. Die interesante ding vir my was toe ek so derde deur die fliek besef dat dit sowaar op Willem Bewespies se Romeo & Juliet gebasseur is. Toevallig is een van die klasse wat ek op universiteit aanbied "Shakespeare Films". Ek gaan beslus "Warm Bodies" in my kurrikulum insluit volgende jaar.