Do You Eat Beaver's Butt?

So if you lick a beaver's butt it tastes like strawberries? That's what this video suggest. I wonder if beavers like rimming. Do their farts smell of strawberries as well?

But how can it be cheaper to hunt beavers for their anal glands than to use fresh strawberries. Those anal glands must be terribly potent!



I wonder what platypus butts taste like. Maybe like passion fruit. And undoubtedly there is a monkey out there somewhere with anal glands that produce banana odours.

Vreemde lukraak gedagtes oor totties

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As kind het ek die Afrikaanse roep vir ganse baie vreemd gevind. Wanneer 'n mens hoenders roep, sê jy “kiep-kiep-kiep!”, maar 'n mens roep ganse met “pielie-pielie-pielie!” Ek kon nie verstaan wat ganse en die kraswoord piel met mekaar te make het nie. Is dit dalk 'n visuele assosiasie met 'n gans se nek en kop? My kinderlike verwarring was dalk onskuldig, maar dis nie net in Afrikaans dat daar 'n konneksie tussen pluimvee en penisse is nie. In die Engelse volksmond gebruik ons tog “cock” (haan) as die metaforiese term vir die manlike geslagsdeel. En in Afrikaans is voël ook algemeen in die volksmond, soos 'n Nando's advertensie al humoristies uitgebeeld het.


Ouers praat ook soms eufemisties met hulle seuntjies oor hulle voëltjies. Die bekendste Afrikaanse eufemisme wat kinders geleer word is sekerlik tollie. 'n Snaakse eufemisme, dink ek, want 'n tollie is tog 'n bul-kalfie. Is dit Afrikaans se boere-wortels wat hier te sprake is? Maar hoekom praat ons nie van meisies se geslagdeel as versies nie? Ons verwys allermins van 'n onaangename volwasse vrou as 'n koei. Betreffende metaforiese eufemismes en kindertotties het ek nog altyd gedink Antjie Krog se beskrywing in 'n gedig van haar babaseuntjie se penissie en skrotumpie as 'n slakkie my sy skulpie is mooi beskrywend. In Korea word rooirissie (“ghôtjoe”) as eufemisme gebruik. Op 'n visuele vlak is vrugte en groente sekerlik heel gepas, dink byvoorbeeld aan piesangs, komkommers en wortels, maar ek dink nie dat mense in Afrikaans juis na hierdie kosse verwys met konneksie tot die penis nie. Ook nie juis in Engels nie. Ek wonder of ander kulture, soos in die geval van Korea, kosse as eufemismes gebruik.

As jong man het ek begin dink dat dit dalk nie toevallig is dat piel en siel so 'n sterk rymingspaar maak nie, en het al selfs 'n gedig geskryf wat die konneksie uitlig. Dis dalk iets wat vroue sal verbygaan, maar dis onbetwisbaar dat daar by mans 'n baie sterk band is tussen hulle penisse en die kern van hulle wese. Daar is 'n archetipiese simboliek aan 'n penis wat ons in alle kulture regoor die aarde vind. So oppervlakkig as dit mag klink is daar min dinge wat 'n man so manlik kan laat voel as 'n sterk ereksie. Dis 'n primitiewe, tog onbetwisbare, werklikheid.

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Die konneksie tussen 'n penis en 'n wapen ('n tradisioneel manlike instrument) is byna voor die handliggend. Dit voel byna soos een-twee-drie om die sinaptiese spronge te maak tussen mans, penisse en wapens, en daarom is daar 'n hele swetterjoel wapens wat as metafore vir penisse gebruik word: knopkiere, spies, swaard, pistool, misiel, atoombom. Aai, ou Freud.

Dit is seker nie te verassend nie dat mans partykeer vir hulle penisse name gee. Persoonlik het ek nie 'n troetelnaam vir my “meneer” nie, maar op 'n keer het ek tot my eie verbasing vir iemand gewaarsku: “Don't wake the dragon!”

So wat vir 'n ding is 'n “tottie”? Is dit ook 'n metaforiese eufamisme? Ek benodig duidelik 'n Afrikaanse etomologiese woordeboek. Die Afrikaanse sakwoordeboekie wat ek hier in Korea het lys nie die woord nie, en my elektroniese kopie van die HAT (e-HAT, 5de uitgawe) werk nie op Windows 7 nie, gevolglik kan ek nie die etomologie van “tottie” opsoek nie. Miskien weet een van die lesers waar die snaakse woordjie vandaan kom. Dis moontlik 'n speling op die woord “tietie”;  'n vermanliking daarvan. Sou 'n mens dan kan praat van 'n volwasse man se “tot”? Ek dink nie meeste mans sal daarvan hou nie. “Tot” klink so kort . . . te verknot, te bot, te stomp. Dis gepas dat 'n seuntjie 'n “tottie” kan hê, maar 'n man soek 'n kragtige naam vir sy swaard. Watter kryger sal die oorlog in jaag met sy swaard “Tot”? Nee, Arthur het Excalibur, Beowolf het Hrunting, Charlemane het Joyeuse, Gandalf het Glamdring, en Harry Potter het die Swaard van Gryffindor.

'n Thai-man met fallus-gelukbringers.
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Nietemin is dit paradoksaal dat die instrument wat deel het in voorplanting—in die skep van 'n nuwe lewe—ook so 'n destruktiewe konneksie het. Die penis is 'n destruktiewe simbool, ja, maar dit is ook 'n simbool vir energie en lewe, gevolglik is fallusagtige standbeelde, obeliske, en selfs klein replikas in party kulture gemaak, en partykeer word selfs die baculum (penisbeen) van sekere diere gebruik om voorspoed, gesondheid, liefde ensomeer aan te trek.

Ek is duidelik besig om te prokrastineer. Het werk om te doen, maar is nie lus nie, so nou skryf ek opstelle oor ganskoppe.

The Gun-Threat

You know that this gun-law thing is going crazy when you see news like this:

• A 6-year old boy gets suspended for making a gun gesture with his fingers.
• A 5th grader gets into trouble for being in the possession of a paper "gun".
• A kindergartner is suspended for using a bubble blower "gun".

By the way, that girl blowing bubbles was ordered to get psychological evaluation during her suspension. For blowing bubbles! Get this, this toddler, speaking about shooting another kid with bubbles with her pink Hello Kitty Bubblegun is accused of "terrorist threatening". And I thought I had a master's degree in Creative Writing! Seriously, it is so bizarre it ought to be part of some sci-fi short story anthology. The idea that a toddler blowing bubbles is equated with terrorist activities is warning us of a civilization gone mad. I don't know if I should laugh at the absurdity or cry at the ludicrousness. 

Forever Spoiled

After seeing this picture, how can I ever look at James Franco, known for his roles in Spider-Man, 127 Hours, and Rise of the Planets of the Apes, again without imagining his nose as the head of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

Or how can I ever look at a cat cleaning itself, without thinking of some satanic ritual?

Two Lies and a Truth

Following are ten sets of Two-Lies-and-a-Truth about me. Can you guess the Truths?

1. At a time as I child I considered becoming _______ when I grow up:
A. a policeman.
B. a porn star.
C. a horse trainer.

2. I dream of one day learning to:
A. fly a helicopter.
B. juggle.
C. cook Korean food.

3. I once considered studying:
A. Nano-engineering.
B. Biochemistry.
C. Criminology.

4. I'm sad when:
A. babies are born.
B. my baking flops.
C. my pens run out of ink.

5. I'm secretly a fan of:
A. Justin Bieber.
B. Robbie Williams.
C. Apple products.

6. An instrument I would like to own is:
A. a saxophone.
B. a theremin.
C. a xylophone.

7. A piano style I would like to master is:
A. jazz piano.
B. classical piano.
C. acoustic piano.

8. Poetry I wish I could write better is:
A. political poetry.
B. limericks.
C. psalms.

9. The fruit I consume the most is:
A. tangerines.
B. apples.
C. bananas.

10. My hair that bothers me the most is my:
A. grey hair.
B. nose hair.
C. shoulder hair.

Research Papers and L2

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I'm sitting in my office grading a pile of Research Papers. It is 20:17; I need to be finished by midnight. It is a tedious activity, but there are moments that make the process quite interesting. For instance, the paper I am currently busy with considers the causes for Macbeth's tragedy. In one section that discusses Macbeth's reluctance to kill King Duncan, the student wrote the following sentance:

"Lady Macbeth persuades him by stimulating his manhood." 

Working with L2 speakers sure has its perks!

LOLSnaps en 2011

Ek het sopas vir 'n uur lank na LOLSnaps.Com prentjies gekyk. Dan praat ek nie eens van die tyd wat ek gisteraand op daardie webbladsy deur gebring het nie. Ek hoop nie dat dit reflekteer op die res van 2011 vir my nie. So waaroor gaan Lolsnaps? Hier is 'n proefmonstertjie:

 

Mouse vs. Cat

I like cats.



A friend, after seeing this video here, linked to it on her Facebook page with the following comment: "You can learn so much from cats. Ignore it or do something about it. Don't waste emotional energy."

Shadow Puppet Artist Raymond Crowe Performs "What a Wonderful World"

xkcd

One of my favourite comicstrips is xkcd. I could spend hours browsing through comic after comic. Here are just a couple to give you an idea of xkcd's humour.

ZANews: "The Dark Continent" and other news

In less humurous news, President Jacob Zuma has let Julius "Malema of the Hook," dropping all disciplinary charges against the ANC Youth League leader whom accosts journalists, performs hate speech, and asks Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe for advice on how to ruin a country go about land reform.

Zuma's spinelessness makes two points clear.

First, Zuma's own immoral behaviour makes it impossible for him to be a moral guiding light to anybody in this country. How could Zuma reprimand Malema when he has no personal moral currency left? His adulterous behaviour has made him (and South Africa) the laughing stock of the political world. Are we really to expect Malema to accept a "do as I say, not as I do" admonition?

Second, it really does seem that Malema has some kind of control over Zuma, and it would seem to be something other than just the support of the Youth League. Almost like he knows a dirty secret about the president, which he is using as his trump card ("get out of jail card").

KOREA

In much more interesting news, South Korea has detained two North Korean spies that were on an assassination mission.

Creative Eye Movements

(Image Source: PhotoBucket)

It is generally accepted that creative thinking is dependent, in large, on the right brain hemisphere. While the right hemisphere is great at coming up with interesting ideas, it is not that good at communicating such ideas logically. It is the left brain hemisphere that is in charge of logical thinking and clear communication. Thus the best creative ideas are those ideas that can be communicated clearly and therefore requires both one’s left and right brain hemispheres to work together.

According to recent research, published in Brain and Cognition, one can actually stimulate left-right hemispherical “cross-talk” by rapidly moving your eyes from left to right for half a minute. When subjects did this before completing a creative task the results were “surpising[ly]” better than that of the control group.

So next time you need to come up with creative ideas, begin with rapidly moving your eyes from side to side.

I can just imagine a chairperson of a meeting asking all attendees to do this exercise before they brainstorm some marketing ideas. Now picture someone, maybe the assistant bringing in the coffee, walking into this scene. What do you imagine the assistant will think?

“O shucks! Someone poisoned them before I could.”

“Quick, call 911! They’re having a group epileptic fit!”

“Another mass demon possession; these people are so unprofessional. Don’t they know not to mix business with séances?!”

“O good! They are downloading the latest report from headquarters. That gives me about five minutes for a quick smoke break.”

Feel free to add some in the comments.

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Parkour: A Series of Comics by Monty