The Other Woman

A recent post by another blogger made me think about all those songs about “the other woman”.

Nina Simone sings about having to compete against “the other woman”, in that old time classic by the same name. The song starts out with the “rival” (the wife) describing how poorly she compares against “the other woman”, because her husband always sees “the other woman” at her best, after she had “manicure[d] her nails” and “enchante[d] her clothes with French perfume”. In contrast, he has gotten used to his wife – used to the “old routine” – sometimes seeing her with “pin curls in her hair”. Nonetheless, she finds solace in a strange irony: “But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep / The other woman will never have his love to keep / And as the years go by the other woman / Will spend her life alone.”



From the perspective of “the other woman” is the song I’ll be the Other Woman by Soul Children, with the adulteress accepting her fate as the “other woman”, enduring the reality that her lover will not leave his wife for her. She adds a sad condition to her plight: “I’ll be the other woman / All your life / Just as long as I’m the only one / Other than your wife” [Lyrics].



Devendra Banhart also sings about The Other Woman. In this lyric the narrator used to be the woman, but now suddenly finds herself as the other woman. She is perplexed at her [ex-]lover’s fickle feelings towards her: “If you love me then why won't you hold me”; “You love me, you hate me, I’m losing my mind”.



A third perspective, of course, is that of the man who has fallen for “the other woman”. In another song with the same title, Ray Parker Jr sings of falling in love with what was supposed to be a “one night stand”, but turned into “a hot romance”. While he declares that he “hate to have to cheat” one is hardly convinced as he admits to “[fooling] around a little on the side” just like “the average guy”. In his paradigm “a little on the side” seems a common and acceptable occurrence [Lyrics] .



The country singer Ray Parker also sings about The Other Woman. The narrator in this song blames his infidelity on his wife, saying that he did not leave his wife because the other woman is more beautiful (“the other woman, isn’t prettier than you”), but rather because the other woman “soothes [his] wounded pride” and makes him “feel wanted again” [Lyrics]. (Warning: Only watch this video if you have a high tolerance for whining country music.)



Apart from the title, I’m not sure if these “other woman” songs have a unifying moral, except that someone is always paying the price – and it would seem to be the women (yes, both of them). Regarding the “the other woman”, it’s better not to take on that role. The man is unlikely to leave his current woman for you. As GurltalkkTV puts it, men might appreciate “the other woman”, but they definitely do not respect her, regardless what the country singer says.