Thursday 15 July 2010
My Name Is Asher Lev
I recently read the novel My Name Is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok, first published in 1972. One of my professors from South Africa told me long ago that I remind her of the main character, a young red headed Jewish boy, whom is an art prodigy. I’ve always wanted to read the book, but never got so far . . . until now.
What surprised me about the book is how much the character Asher and I have in common. I was somewhat shocked that this professor should know so many things about me. Things more obscure than the fact that the main character, Asher, and I both have red hair. I am of Jewish decent (did she know this?) and although I am not of the Jewish faith, I do keep some customs which are ordinarily associated with Judaism. Like Asher, I keep the Sabbath and also only eat kosher food. I would not call myself a child prodigy like the main character, but I have always been very creative and have been ostracized by many of my peers as a child for my “oddness.” Like Asher I suffered from depression as a child, often feeling exhausted without cause and not understanding what was wrong with me. Also, both my mother and this character’s mother suffered from depression. Like Asher, the older I got and the more my sensitivities became apparent the less my father and I had in common. Unlike Asher’s father who pertinently opposed his art, my father merely left me in my mother’s care. Now as an adult I cannot blame my father – he was a car mechanic by trade and a business man by profession. None of these things I had an interest in, nor did these careers equip him with the skills to nurture an overly emotional, creative and artistic boy. Like Asher, as a child I spent numerous hours by myself just drawing. I wish I could say that I became a well known and highly successful artist – I did not. I traded pencil and paint for the typewriter and am still honing my craft.
I often miss expressing myself in lines and shapes, colours and shades. The novel inspired me to do some visual art again. I have many ideas; maybe I’ll still bring them to life. I often lament that I went to study graphic design
– I should have studied fine arts. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I did a masters’ in History of Art, instead of Creative Writing. If I did, I would probably not have worked as a lecturer at a university in Korea. They need people in the (English) language field more than people in the arts. Still, one cannot help but wonder at times how one’s life may have been different had different opportunities come along. But they didn’t. It was a scholarship for Creative Writing that presented itself. And I’m thankful. Writing is a good medium – one can colour with paint and with words. One can give shade with pencils and with metaphors.
I also realised, while reading the novel, that I have another thing in common with main character. Asher’s art was often in contradiction to his religion. Some of my best ideas are things that clash with my religious heritage. Unlike Asher I have not had the fortitude to put them to paper / canvas yet.
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I understand. I feel that my mother didn't understand me. She was one of those choleric types. I on the other hand, liked being alone with a notebook and pens. I wrote stories that were imaginative. I can't draw a straight line though.
I remember being ostracized from my peers. I do think that the intellectually gifted and creative children are picked on just the same as the slower kids are. I often wasn't interested in the things that the crowd was interested in.
I have wished I stayed in academia and got a master's already. I want to be in the intellectual atmosphere. I am getting tired of ESL, I could be doing more.
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