Thursday, 27 June 2013

I'm a Negotiator

I watched a TED Talk in which the biological anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher discusses "The Brain in Love". Towards the end of the talk she discusses four temperament types and their attractions (or non-attractions) towards each other. You can read about it in a PDF here: "We have chemistry! –  the role of four primary temperament dimensions in mate choice and partner compatibility".

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Always curious to find out more about myself, and having recently come out of a relationship still trying to understand the dynamics of what happened, I decided to log into her dating website Chemistry.Com and go do the temperament dimensions test.

There are four temperaments: Director, Builder, Negotiator, and Explorer. I score highest for Negotiator, followed by Explorer.

This is what the test have to say about me:

As a Negotiator [Your primary type]

You are imaginative. You are emotionally expressive and share your feelings. The big picture is what interests you most, and you like to assemble facts and focus on larger concepts. When you make decisions, you often think things through very carefully, weighing all the options before deciding what to do. People are important to you and you prefer to build intimate attachments with others, connecting on a deeply personal level.

Agreeable and unassuming, you can be very intuitive, and you generally prefer win-win situations that protect social harmony. You are very good at reading people, and this includes facial expressions as well as vocal inflections. You excel at what scientists call synthesizing, which means you collect lots of data and then find patterns that lead to larger concepts.

Things Negotiators should be aware of:

Because they can see so many angles to an issue or decision, they can be indecisive. Their need to please can make them placating and their trusting nature can make them gullible. When they feel betrayed they can be unforgiving and hold a grudge too long.

When you add Explorer [Your secondary type]

You tend to be curious and creative, optimistic and generous. You have lots of energy and you like to spend your time seeking out new things. You avoid routine and really enjoy surprises. You’re creative and curious and flexible, which makes you very adaptable to almost any situation.

Things Explorers should be aware of:

hey are so mentally flexible and spontaneous that they can appear indecisive and unpredictable. They tend to be impatient with cautious people or those with more rigid views of morality. They focus on many things at a time.

I'm very much in agreement with most of the result. I am indeed imaginative; creative; emotionally expressive (I write poetry after all); intuitive; concerned with the big picture and looking at things from different angles; am more interested in deep, intimate relationships; curious and flexible. And the negatives also apply: I can be so overwhelmed with different aspects of a problem that it could make me indecisive; I always have too many things on my plate; and I do get irritated with rigid views -- the older I get the less black and white the world is to me.

It was an interesting exercise. Whether I will actually make use of Chemistry.Com to find a partner, I very much doubt. Firstly because the site is chiefly catering for Americans. Secondly, my love languages are quality time and affection, neither of which makes online dating a particularly attractive option for me.

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