My knorrige Koreaanse kollega

Daar is 'n knorrige Koreaanse doktor in die Engelse departement waar ek werk. Die eerste jaar wat ek hier begin werk het, het ek gewoond geraak daaraan dat hy heuwige humeuruitbarstings het tydens departementele vergaderings. Ek is bly om te rapporteer dat hy intussen aansienlik stiller geraak het en hy nogals lanklaas so 'n uitbarsting gehad het. Dis natuurlik ook effe senutergend wat 'n mens kan nie help om te wonder of die spanning intussen ontploffingsdruk opgebou het nie, en die volgende uitbarsting tot waansinnige bezerktheid gaan lei.

In elk geval, die Koreaanse doktor is bot. Hy ignoreer almal en die kere wat hy sowaar met my 'n uitruil van sinne gehad het (ek wil dit nie 'n gesprek noem nie), kan ek letterlik op my vingers tel. Wanneer ons verby mekaar loop of onsself gelyktydig in die sekretaresse se kantoor vind ignoreer hy my eenvoudig soos 'n koning die tuinjonge.

My moeder het vele male aan my 'n staaltjie vertel van my tweede oudste broer wat dit moeilik gehad het onder een onderwyser in hoërskool. Om een of ander rede het die onderwyser net 'n gly gevang in my broer en die lewe vir hom baie ongemaklik gemaak. My moeder se raad aan my broer was om die onderwyser met volhoubare vriendelikheid te behandel. Haar praktiese raad was om die onderwyser altyd en met 'n breë glimlag te groet. Glo het my broer die raad geneem en uit sy pad uit gegaan om dit te doen. Selfs wanneer hy die onderwyser van ver af gesien het, het hy gretig vir hom gewaai en geglimlag. Ons moeder se wysheid het glo vrugte afgewerp, want volgens haar was my broer en die onderwyser later dik vrinne. Ek besluit toe om ook haar raad te volg en begin toe 'n veldtog van vriendelikheid teenoor my knorrige Koreaanse kollega. Elke dag as ek hom sien gee ek hom 'n groot gulle glimlag met 'n gepaardgaande “Good morning,” Good day,” “Good afternoon,” of “Hello” (afwisseling is goed, alvorens dit eentonig raak). Ondanks my hardste pogings het hy my bly ignoreer. Partykeer, as ek hom onkant gevang het, mog hy moontlik 'n “Annyong haseyo” (hello in Koreaans) gemompel het.

Ek was byna gereed om tou op te gooi totdat ek uitvind dat een van my ander nie-Koreaanse kollegas glad nie die stiltebehandeling ontvang nie. Ek gaan steek toe by hierdie kollega op om uit te vind wat hy anders doen. “Nee,” sê die kollega, “wanneer ek hom sien, groet ek hom in Koreaans en gee aan hom 'n klein buigie.” Ek kon dit nie glo nie, die knorrige Koreaanse kollega wil hê ek moet vir hom buig en in Koreaans groet. Ek is toe sommer vies toe ek dit hoor en alles in my skop daarteen om hom die plesier te gee.

Ek is glad nie suinnig met my Koreaanse respek nie. Ek groet in Koreaans met die eervolle buigingtjie aan allerande mense: die tannie by die bakkery, die busdrywer, die mannetjie agter die kaartjietoonbank by die flieks. Hierdie is mense wat laer in die sosiale werksklas is as ek—'n universiteitsdosent—tog gee ek nie om hom hulle met oordrewe respek te behandel nie.

Die eerste ding wat my irriteer van die situasie is die verwagting dat ek hom in Koreaans moet groet. Hierdie is allermins die Engelse departement. Vir watter rede moet ons in 'n ander taal kommunikeer in die Engelse departement? Hy is allermins 'n doktor in Engelse letterkunde en is die taal totaal magtig. Daarbenewens is daar drie ander Koreaanse dosente in ons departement van hoër portuur as hy—die een was 'n akademiese dekaan, die ander eertydse departementshoof van die Joernalistieke department, en die derde is tans die departmentshoof van die Engelse departement—wat my gedurig in Engels groet en geensins van my verwag om voor hulle te buig nie. Ook gee ek nie om om vir hulle die nodige knik van die kom of lyf te gee nie, en doen partykeer so heel natuurlik en gemaklik.

Die blote verwagting van die knorrige Koreaanse kollega dat ek aan hom sulke Koreaanse respek moet wys—respek wat ek met oorgawe aan meeste Koreane wys—maak dat ek dit glad nie vir hom wil wys nie. My respek is iets wat ek vrylik gee; dis nie afdwingbaar nie.

Met na betragting dink ek dat die heuwige rebellie in my nie bydrae tot 'n Christen-karakter nie, en dat ek die geleentheid kan gebruik om nederigheid te beoefen. So ek het intussen begin om hom in Koreaans te groet (in die Engelse departement!) en 'n knik van die kop te gee. Voorwaar het hy intussen begin om my terug te groet in Koreaans (in die Engelse departement!).

Noudat ek hom die respek gee wat hy so graag na smag, word ek nie meer geïgnoreer nie. Dis nie asof hy skielik met my begin klets nie, maar ten minste groet hy my ook nou terug. Maar o, dis moeilik. Ek doen dit met knersende tande!

"If you don't use it, you lose it."

I'm so frustrated with my deteriorated drawing skills!

I've committed for an art exhibit for the House of Sharing. The exhibit is to take place in less than two weeks (December 10), but I'm still struggling to do what I want to do. I have a very clear idea in my mind's eye, but it would seem that my skills have eroded too much for me to make my mental image manifest on paper.

I can't believe how difficult it is -- when did I get this bad?! I've been drawing from as long as I can remember, and went on to study Graphic Design. During my studies I realised that I'm not interested in working in the marketing industry, so I continued to study English Literature and Creative Writing afterwords. Since I've finished my master's degree in Creative Writing, I started working as an educator. I'm currently focussing on English poetry and writing. Obviously my work do not require me to draw pictures, so I haven't been doing much of that over the last couple of years. It has been about ten years now since I graduated from my first degree in Graphic Design. Since then I haven't done many art projects, and have only drawn on occasion. I didn't realise that my skill have wasted away so dramatically until I started working on this project.

The art exhibit will focus on the so-called "comfort women". These were (Korean and other Asian) women that were kidnapped by Japanese soldiers and kept as sex slaves during WWII. I'm planning five drawings of which two are Japanese soldiers: male nudes holding weapons (a rifle with bayonet and a sword, respectively) in phallic positions. The idea is to associate the phallus as a weapon of war.

I've managed to scribble an okayish first draft of one of the figures, but the second one just keeps alluding me. I'm not getting the proportions right. Even in the above picture the one leg's thigh is too long. The two figures I'm planning are supposed to be positioned on the left and right of another drawing, based on the one below, which will be the central piece, focussing on the Samurai, the most iconic of Japanese symbols.

The other two drawings of the five picture set will be the bloodied flags of Imperial Japan and Korea, positioned above and below the picture above. Or that's the plan. If I can't get my the drawings done within the next few days, I may have to withdraw from the exhibit.

I know I have been neglecting sketching--and art in general, I just haven't realized how much I have neglected it. As the saying goes, if you don't use it, you lose it.

President Lee Myung Bak's Eyes

I'm yet to talk to a Korean that like the current president, Lee Myng Bak. Honestly, I really don't know how he got elected. But that's not the purpose of this post. Instead, I want to share two sets of pictures of President Lee with two female Heads of State.

Yes, Lee Myung Bak is staring at the butt of Yulia Tymoshenko, the previous prime minister of the Ukraine.

Yes, Lee Myung Bak is staring at the boobs of Julia Gillard, the incumbent head of state of Australia.

Sneaking peeks is one thing, but to gawk is quite another. And a completely different kettle of fish is when one head of state blatantly objectifies another head of state. Goodness, these were official inter-governmental meetings, not encounters at a night club!

Der große Fürst Michael

"Michael, the Archangel" by Celia Fenn

Daniel 12:1a: “And at that time shall Michael stand up, the great prince which standeth for the children of thy people...”

A theologian friend and I have been speaking about the possibility of Jesus also being Michael, the Archangel. He says that most of evangelical / protestant Christian tradition interprets Michael to be a manifestation of Jesus—and also that he disagrees with the possibility of Jesus being Michael on account of Hebrews 2 that states God has not subjugated the world to come under any angels, but under Christ alone. I disagree with my friend on both points.

First, I don't believe that most of Christianity holds the interpretation that Michael and Jesus are the same being. The Catholic tradition do not hold this view and I know of very few evangelical / protestant interpretations that equate Michael with Jesus. There are only two denominations that I know of that makes this assertion, and both are generally considered sectarian. Now let me stop here for a moment. Just because something is believed to be “sectarian” doesn't by default mean that the belief is false. When Galileo Galilei proposed heliocentrism, instead of the earth as the centre of the universe, he was called a heretic. Heretics, although in the minority, i.e. sectarian, are sometimes correct.

My second disagreement with my friend is not that Jesus must be Michael, but that Hebrews 2 does not trump the possibility for Jesus to be Michael. The Bible is filled with theophanies. A “theophany” is an appearance of a deity in a tangible form. From the Torah (Old Testament) we learn that God spoke with Adam and Eve, Cain, and Noah and his sons, although a specific manifestation / appearance is not mentioned. However, for Abraham and Sarah it seems that God manifested God-self as the Angel-of-the-Lord, an angel that speaks as God in the first person, i.e. God. God originally met Moses in the form of a burning bush. The Israelites encountered God as a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night. The Holy Spirit (one of the three persons of God) manifested in the form of a dove at Jesus' baptism. There is therefore many examples of theophanies so that Jesus appearing as the Archangel Michael could be just one of these instances. The appearance of Michael could easily be a Christophany—which is a theophany of Christ. After all, the name “Michael” literally means “Who is like God?”. And we know from Hebrews 1 and other texts the answer to that question: Jesus Christ. If Michael is a Christophany, I cannot see how it clashes with Hebrews 2.

On a side note, the prophet Daniel described Michael (in the text quoted at the beginning of this post) as the “prince” of “thy people.” I think “prince” is an unfortunate English translation of the Hebrew word “śar” [שׂר], from which Russian derives the term “tzar”. I much better prefer the German translation: “der große Fürst Michael”—the great Force Michael. Fürst (or the Afrikaans “Vors”) better captures the Hebrew word “śar”: a great power, or force, the power that will protect you, keep you safe, one's steward. This, to me, is a comfortable description of Jesus as the protector or saviour of God's people; the One that fights on their behalf.

"Archangel Michael" by Luca Giordano

That there is a close relationship between Michael and Jesus we also learn from Revelation 12, where “Michael and his angels” fought against the “dragon . . . the ancient serpent, he who is called Devil and Satan”. Satan and his angels were cast out of heaven. Immediately after this a great voice in heaven is heard saying: “Now is come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ; for the accuser of our brethren has been cast out . . .” There seems to be a link between Michael casting out Satan and the “salvation” and “authority” of Christ. In Luke 10:18 Christ declares: “. . . I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven”, suggesting that Christ was present when Satan was cast out of heaven.

If Michael is indeed a Christophany, it would seem that Michael is the battle-title or warrior name for Christ. Michael is the one that battles Satan, the Prince of Evil (symbolised by the Prince of Persia in the Book of Daniel). We see this in Daniel 12, in Jude 1, and in Revelation 12.

Does believing or not believing in Michael as Jesus affect any core Christian doctrine? Yes, if we believe Jesus to be merely a created angel. But this need not be the case. Michael could just be a Christophany, in which case the deity of Jesus is not questioned, and therefore no core Christian doctrine is affected.

Is "I Am What I Am" Blasphemous?

I've come up in defence of Lady Gaga's song “Judas”, which many people consider blasphemous. I even enjoy Marilyn Manson's song “Eat Me, Drink Me”, which I'm sure other people might find blasphemous too. (No the song is not making reference to Jesus' invitation; it actually alludes to Alice in Wonderland.)



The song that really makes my hair stand on end is probably not one that most people would raise and eyebrow over, and I doubt it's intention was blasphemous. It is “I Am What I Am”, originally from the Broadway musical La Cage Aux Folles (1983-1987), but made famous by Gloria Gaynor. Some might be mistaken to think that it is because the song was written by a gay man, Jerry Herman, or taken up by the gay community as a gay pride anthem, that makes me think of it as blasphemous. That's not it at all.

Rather, it is the hook of the song “I am what I am.” This is practically an exact quote from Hebrew: אהיה אשר אהיה, which is commonly translated into English as “I AM That I AM” or “I AM What I AM” or just abbreviated as “I AM”. It is a quotation from Exodus 3:14, one of the most famous verses in the Old Testament (Torah).

“I AM What I AM” is God's name for God; this is what God calls God-self. The expression is not merely an ambiguous self-description, it is the most sensible description that a perfect and perfectly self-sufficient entity could describe itself as. There is nothing else higher, or remotely equal to God. Even the term “God” is an inferior construct. God, therefore describes God-self by God-self: I AM What I AM. This expression is one of the seven holy names for God in the Torah.

Is it any wonder that when I hear Gloria Gaynor sing “I am what I am,” that I cringe, and when she follows up with “I am my own special creation” and so equating herself to the Creator that I flinch? Of course, these are all associations in my own mind, coming from my own interest and knowledge in philosophy and theology.

Unlike the Church and religious people that have many opinions about what constitutes blasphemy, the Bible (i.e. Torah), only truly has one thing that is really considered blasphemous and that is equating oneself with God—setting yourself up as God. When Jesus described Himself as the “I AM”, in other words equating Himself with the God of the Old Testament that spoke to Moses, the Jews wanted to stone him because they believed it to be blasphemous. One of the reasons Jesus was crucified is because he basically proclaimed that He is God, that He is the “I AM”.

I don't think Jerry Herman really intended to write a blasphemous song, but I just can't help to make the association when I hear the words.



One of the comments that got the most thumbs-up for John Barrowman's rendition of “I Am What I Am” in the YouTube video above is: “Some people hate that he's gay. I hate that he's so g*d damn perfect.” I agree.

The song teaches an important principle: it is important to know and accept who you are. Millions of people live unhappy lives because they feel uncomfortable in their own skins, uncomfortable with themselves, uncomfortable with who they are. The song declares that your “live's a sham” until you make peace with yourself. I understand this. And I accept that there is a truth in that. For that reason I also like the song. I used to suffer from low self-esteem too, so I know the truth to this.

Still, whenever I hear someone sing it, I cannot help thinking of a puny little human being declaring him- or herself to be the Great God Almighty—the Self-Sufficient, Uncreated, Infinite, I AM.

So is the song “I Am What I Am” blasphemous? Probably not any more than Frank Senatra's “My Way”.

20 More Things I'm Thankful For . . .

I cannot believe that it is that time of year again—Thanksgiving. I still remember the list of 51 things I'm thankful for that I made in 2009. In fact, I can actually still remember the bakery where I sat and composed that original list. If I were to make such a list again, I doubt it would differ much from the previous one, since I'm still thankful for practically all of those things. So instead of starting from scratch and repeating things I've said before, I'll just add to it.

52. I love poetry. I love to write it and I love to read it.
53. Nut milk. I used to drink soy milk all the time but then someone told me that too much soy products is not good for you because of the high levels of natural oestrogen in soybeans. This led me to search for other milk alternatives, so I began making my own nut milks. It's wonderful.
54. Basil. I love it fresh or as pesto.

A Samsung Galaxy Tab
smartphone, like the one I have.

55. Communication programs and apps such as Skype and Whatsapp and KakaoTalk and all the other things I use to communicate with the people I love. I'm excited about the use of Twitter in the Arab Spring revolutions.
56. Smartphones are changing everything. The ability to just quickly look up anything—that constant connection to the Information Highway is terribly satisfying.
57. I've had some great martial arts instructors and martial art friends through the years. I've had some bad ones too, but I'm thankful for the great ones.
58. Ondol, Korea's underfloor heating, is just plain wonderful. Korea is freakin' cold in the winter, but if you have functioning ondol one's apartment is always warm and cozy.

Kurt Vonnegut,
Sci-Fi Author and Thinker

59. Kurt Vonnegut.
60. Torrents and Miro.
61. While I'm looking forward to teleportation one day, in the mean time I'm really thankful for airplanes.
62. Nice plants in my apartment.
63. Providence.
64. I'm really thankful for Pastor Dan Smith's grace centred sermons.
65. Lemons.
66. Long holidays. Although my annual vacation time is fixed, it is nonetheless wonderful having such long vacations—about three months of paid vacation per year! You can't beat that.
67. I'm constantly reminded what a great privilege it is to be bilingual. It makes life richer. It expands your horizons.
68. Blogging and bloggers.
69. Mandu, or Korean dumplings, is one of my favourite Korean foods. You can buy them frozen and then just steam them. I don't eat mandu that often, but today, when I had nothing to eat, I quickly took some frozen mandu from my fridge, steamed it and it was ready within five minutes.
70. I live in an apartment on campus, where I work. It takes just five minutes from my house to my office.
71. From my apartment to the closest bus stop takes 15 minutes by foot and then another 15-20 minutes by bus to the closest subway station. I'm exceedingly thankful for the campus bus that runs from campus to the subway station. It is during the vacation times or on weekends when the campus buses do not run that I realise how much I appreciate them.
72. That ice drifts, rather than sink, is something I'm thankful for.
73. I don't use it every day, but I'm really happy that I have an oven.

Antjie Krog, South African
Poet and Author

74. Antjie Krog.
75. My first, and so far only, schrink—Okkert Kotze, I think that's his name, it's been a while—(and probably his supervisor under whom he practised) helped a lot!
76. My X for reminding me that I'm a man.
77. Ludolf Bezuidenhout, a childhood friend, who befriended me when I had no friends, and later saved my life. I'm sorry I couldn't save his.
78. Those ladies with their sexy voices that I love so much: Alanis Morissette, Sheryl Crow, Ella Fitzgerald, Penny Sue, Sarah Vaughan, Tori Amos, Mahalia Jackson, Reana Nel, Fiona Apple, Edith Piaf, Dido, Amy Winehouse, Alison Krauss, Diana Krall, Amanda Strydom, and the list goes on.
79. Having a friendly dojang (martial art gym) here in Korea where I can train and teach, with a very accepting and caring kwanjangnim (gym owner) that values me.
80. Clean drinking water.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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To all my American friends the American readers of Skryfblok, may you enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving, shared with those you love.

Wangdda -- Korean Outcasts

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I have two wangdda in some of my classes this semester. A wangdda 왕따 is a type of social outcast in Korea. (The Japanese equivalent is lijime.) In a group orientated society, being a wangdda is unimaginably hard. To become wangdda could be quite arbitrary like being bullied at school usually is. In general, however, any sign of being a little different, could have you ostracised. What bothers me though is that I always thought wangdda to be children's phenomenon. Korean school children would pick out a student and bully and ostracise the child.

I never expected it to continue into adulthood. The two wangdda are not bullied, but they are completely ignored. While this ought not generally be a problem, it is whenever I require students to do group work. I would assign these students into groups, but find that the other students completely ignore them. Once the groups had to do presentations and I think I heard this one group actually telling the one student not to come to class during the next class. I might be mistaken because my Korean is not that great and I wasn't standing close to the group when they spoke, but that is what I thought I heard. It is a big challenge to teach a class where such covert ostracising is occurring, especially a skills oriented class like Conversational English that constantly require pair work and group work.

In an individual society it is difficult to be ostracised, but individuality is often celebrated so that once you are an adult, it becomes okay. I remember that in school I was sometimes ostracised for being the weird, sensitive, artistic boy. As I got older it became easier, and by the time I went to university I found out that there were many other freaks just as weird as me and I made a great group of odd and creative friends. In Korea it is different. There are not that many subcultures and students that stand out as individuals are actually quite few. In fact, I often encourage and compliment any students that show originality and uniqueness, since these are values that I treasure and are probably undervalued in Korea. There's a famous idiom in Korea: The nail that stands up gets hammered down. I try to build up those lonesome nails; hopefully they'll survive the hammering if someone valued them enough.

Read more about wangdda here,

What's in a Name?

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One of the first Korean friends I made was a student of mine that I taught English at a language institute in 2006. His name, Jun Hyun-Jin. Recently Jun Hyun-Jin suddenly became Jun I-Sum. Why? Well apparently the Korean Sound Wave Name Institute convinced him that his name Jun Hyun-Jin is full of bad luck. If he kept his name, they told him something to the effect that he will suffer from serious ill health later in life, he'll get a terrible wife, have weakly children, and never advance his career. They suggested he change his name to avert these travesties and proposed the name Jun I-Sum, which he did. I don't know how much he paid for their services, but he paid over $1000 to have his name officially changed.

Personally I think it is all hogwash and suspect that it is not much different from numerology or other such superstitions.

Then again, there is much to be said for a name. Would Oprah have been the success she is today were her name Mary-Sue? Would Madonna have been equally iconic if she was known by her middle Louise instead? Or if she hused her family name and was known as Madonna Ciccone?

In the Bible, names often carry meaning, usually describing the character of the person. Bible characters would sometimes undergo a name change. Abram became Abraham. Jacob became Isaac. Simon became Peter. Saul became Paul. The name change often signalled a character change.

I once had a friend who were verbally and physically abused by her father. As an adult she decided that the negative associations with her name--her father always shouting her name--disturbed her, so she took up another name. She wanted a unisex name so we decided on Toni. With her new name, signifying a new start and a strong character, Toni was able to commence her journey of recovery after years of abuse.

Similarly, my younger brother who has a four syllable first name that people always mispronounce decided to shorten his name to a two syllable name. Later still, his friends adopted a one syllable nickname, Nate, which most people now use. While I liked the two syllable name, Nethan, I also like the name Nate. These days I see that he use different versions of his name, the original four syllable one, the two syllable one, and the one syllable one, in different situations, to good effect.

I'm sure that my own name also had an influence on who I am today. My real names are proper English names. However, our nanny gave me a Sesotho / Tswana name, which ended up becoming the name my family used. I grew up with an African name, which always made me stand out within white contexts. I'm sure this must have had an influence on how people treated me, and how I interacted with people. (If you want to know my name, you can see it on my poetry blog: Ingelegde Lywe.) In Korea my name is very similar to a common Korean name 상국, so that Koreans always ask me after I introduced myself to them if it is my Korean name, then I always have to explain to them, no, it is an African name, I am from South Africa. It has become such a trite routine, that I am shocked when it doesn't happen. Since my name sounds Korean I have opted to use 이상구 Lee Sang-Goo as my Korean name.

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While I still think that the Korean Sound Name Wave Institute is a sham, I agree, that there is much to be said for a name.

Korea's Drinking Culture and Why I'm a Teetotaller

Saturday night and Sunday I spent with a group of mostly Koreans and some foreigners at a martial art excursion. This had not been my first such an outing with Koreans, so I expected there to be a lot of drinking and therefore prepared myself psychologically for it. As I am a teetotaller, I need such preparation. In general, teetotallers are a minority, but here in Korea with its extreme drinking culture teetotallers are almost non-existent.

Sometimes they start 'em young.
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If you do not drink in Korea, you are practically ostracised, for almost all social outings include alcohol. Somebody that doesn't drink with the group is considered unsociable and rude. I remember one occasion where I joined a group of Koreans and when I refused to drink I was basically told to leave by one person. Another senior Korean with whom I have close ties came to my rescue and persuaded them that I should stay since I am his “chinggu” (friend) and explained that it is part of my “religion,” which is a half-truth. However, I'm sure that had it not been for me being a foreigner I would either have needed to leave in shame because of my insult for not drinking with them, or I would have had to conform and drink with the group. I have met some “teetotaller” Koreans in Korea who would accept one drink and drink a little of it, just so that they do not come across as insulting. Some Koreans that do not wish to drink come up with stories like being sick or that they are taking medicine with which they are not allowed to use alcohol. However, even with some people showing the medicine as proof, I've witnessed the extreme pressure they receive to drink at least half a glass of soju. While foreigners can get away with not drinking, they will often experience severe pressure and may find themselves indirectly ostracised for being unsociable.

A drunk Korean passing out in public.
Not that uncommon a sight, actually.
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There are some Korean subcultures that do not drink, whom are part of so-called sectarian faiths such as Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Mormons. Because these Koreans are part of their own communities they at least have a social life. Koreans who do not belong to such religious persuasions are, as I mentioned already, ostracised and struggle to make friends. Even Koreans from these religious groups have a hard time, particularly in their work place. It is customary for colleagues to go drinking together after work, and refusing to do so, particularly if one's senior or boss suggested the drinking, is considered terribly rude, and even disrespectful. In that sense, not drinking could sometimes cost you your job.

Bottles of soju -- Korea's most famous
alcohol comparable to vodka.
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Had drinking in Korea merely been one or two beers, it would not have been that bad. Unfortunately Koreans take social drinking to the extreme. Drinking often involves drinking games and other group-pressure drinking. Hearing Koreans shout “one-shot”, i.e. gulping down your glass in one go, accompanied with the encouraging cheers, is not unusual. One's ability to “take a drink” is equated with being “strong”. I guess this is not a uniquely Korean thing, but in Korea it really seems to be a continued test and senior citizens going out with their friends do not seem to take it any lighter than when they were youngsters drinking themselves into a stupor. Seeing old Korean men ridiculously drunk is as common as seeing dead-drunk college boys.

Two older Korean friends passed out on the street
together after a night of heavy drinking. Or, at least,
that's my assumption of this picture.
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There is a small movement amongst upper class Koreans to drink wine. Since whine is so expensive, and since it is enjoyed slowly, wine drinkers tend to drink far less. Wine drinking in Korea is in many cases just for pompous show, like wearing a very expensive name brand suit, and going to art exhibits just for the pretence of appreciating art, but at least wine drinking is giving a way out to some Koreans who would like to socialise without getting completely knackered.

Soju advertisements usually involve a
sexy Korean woman, showing lots of skin
and curves, that enjoys to drink and party.
There is undeniably a sexual connection
made with drinking soju.

The thing that disturbs me the most about Korea's terrible drinking culture are the associated ethics that go with it. When Koreans misbehave while drunk, they are often excused. This is often true even when laws are broken. Here's another example of the shady morality of a drunken culture. So I once went out with a mixed group of foreigners and Koreans. One foreign girl got terribly drunk and started to behave awfully bad. She also became a danger to herself; constantly falling about and hitting her head. She refused to lie down and rest. Two Korean guys told me—and I think they are from different parts of Korea so this must be a common sentiment—that if she was a Korean girl they would just knock her out. They actually showed me the points where they would hit her. Being a martial artist I recognised the pressure points (temple; side of the neck; and somewhere else I'd rather not mention) and realised that these are indeed points to knock someone out with, so they are actually talking from experience. Did you get this? In Korea, it is common and acceptable to hit a rowdy drunk Korean woman unconscious. Eventually the foreign girl in our group did go to sleep without being knocked unconscious. The next morning she had no recollection at all of the previous night. Of course, nobody was angry with her for her misbehaviour—she was drunk after all. But the thing that disturbs me is that she could have been taken advantage of, i.e. raped, were she amongst a different group of people, and she would not have been any the wiser the next day. I'm wondering how often this sort of thing actually happens in Korea. In a culture where ridiculous amounts of alcohol consumption is socially acceptable and even socially encouraged, where drunken misbehaviour is excused, and where knocking out difficult drunk women is common (something I reconfirmed with some of my male students), taken advantage of an unconscious woman while you are drunk yourself, doesn't seem far fetched to me at all.

Luckily for this girl, Korea
is relatively safe.
Image Source

So why don't I drink alcahol? There are a couple of reasons really. The first reason I do not drink is as a statement. It is for the same reason I do not smoke. My father did. He smoked and it made him stink and I swore that I would not be like him. There was also a patch during which he drank and became aggressive. I remember clearly how my brother and I would hide (and sometimes throw away) his whiskey because of how we hated the way it changed his personality. It took him a while, but he eventually realised the negative impact his drinking had on us, so he stopped excessive drinking. I respect him for caring enough for us to choose us over the bottle. Nonetheless, the negative associations with alcohol was set, so I also swore not to be like my father, who continued to drink socially. Second, many people on my maternal side of the family are alcoholics. In particular my uncles, one of them my godfather whom I always looked up to. I saw how the drink had destroyed both their lives and their families and it disgusted me. It also came as a revelation to me that since I take after my mother's side of the family, I probably have a predisposition towards becoming an alcoholic myself. I know I have an addictive personality, so I'm not taking any chances. Later, when I became a Christian and accepted the scripture that says our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and that therefore healthy living is part of our act of worship, I decided to live a healthy life style. This is in part the reason why I'm a (flexible) vegetarian, why I avoid frequent consumption of caffeine, why I exercise even though I often do not feel like it. Finally, I honestly do not like the taste of alcohol. I once tried to drink Amarula Cream, thinking that I'd at least enjoy the taste since a like fruity, creamy stuff. I do like cherry liqueur dark chocolates after all. Regardless, I had to boil the Amarula Cream for quite some time to get rid of the alcohol taste. Last year I was in a hotel by myself and there was beer in the bar fridge. Being alone I thought I'd just try it a bit--I'm far from anybody who knows me, nobody would know. I took maybe two sips and can still honestly say that I really dislike the taste. If it is indeed an acquired taste, it is a taste I'd rather not acquire.

I'm not against people temperately consuming alcohol. There are many people who seem able to enjoy it in moderation only. Although I do not, many of my friends enjoy a drink on occasion. I am, however, against drunkenness and am definitely against Korea's excessive drinking culture. I strongly believe that Korea would be much better off without this element in its society. It is complete nonsense that a person cannot have fun without alcohol, that one cannot be sociable without drinking. And if it is the case for some timid people who needs the bravado of the bottle, the severe price Korea and its families are paying because of alcohol is not worth it.

In this post I focussed on a very negative aspect of Korea, sure. There are, however, many other positive things about Korea otherwise I would not have lived here for nearly five years now. Korea is cool.

3 dinge

Ek het die onderstaande vrae op 'n ander blog gesien en is toe sommer lus om ook die speletjie te speel.

Noem 3 dinge waaroor jy mal is op die oomblik:

• Antony and the Johnsons' "Hope There's Someone"
• Okkerneutmelk
• Mohisme

Noem 3 dinge wat jy vir jou 20 jarige self sou wou sê as jy kon terugreis in tyd:

Oor 'n jaar gaan jy deur die slegste tyd in jou lewe gaan wat jy jouself kan indink. Jou pa gaan in 'n rooftog in die kopgeskiet word. Jou ma gaan uiteindelik aan haar terminale siekte sterf. Jou beste vriend gaan te verlief wees om jou te ondersteun. Al jou finansiële ondersteuning gaan eensklaps verdwyn. Jy gaan bottels by die kafee moet ingee om 'n brood te koop. Jou meisie gaan die daaropvolgende jaar in 'n motorongeluk sterf. Jou ander beste vriend gaan in 'n koma wees. Jy gaan aan intense depressie lei. Ondanks dit alles gaan jy van die waardevolste lewenslesse leer wat jy moontlik ooit sal leer. God gaan 'n werklikheid vir jou word.

(Okay, dis meer as drie dinge . . . ek kan dit seker afkort tot: daar lê groot stront vir jou voor; jy gaan daaruit leer; God gaan wesenlik word.)

Wat is die 3 (of meer) dinge wat jy voor jou siel weet jy eintlik behoort aan te werk wat jouself aanbetref:

• Gaan slaap om hemelsnaam vroeër!
• Luister met belangstelling na jou broer.
• Maak flippen tyd vir Koreaanselesse.

Waarvoor is jy bang:

Rotte. Hulle kan 60cm hoog spring—hoog genoeg om jou aan jou knaters te byt. Hulle kan deur rioolpype swem tot in jou toilet en jou knaters byt terwyl jy op die toilet sit. Hulle het lang tande.

Wat maak jou kinderlik opgewonde:

Poësie en 'n mooi metafoor.

Watter 3 films wat jy onlangs gesien het, het 'n impak op jou gemaak:

• Warrior
• In Time
• The Help

Noem 3 goeie gewoontes:

• Drink water.
• Lees gereeld en wyd.
• Koop nie emosioneel nie.

"Across the Universe" and Other Cravings

I've been in the mood again for one of my favourite movies, Across the Universe, lately. I wrote about it before. The video below is a scene from the movie in which Evan Rachel Wood covers the beautiful Beatles' song "Blackbird".



Whenever I crave for something, be it food, or music, or visual stimuli, I always wonder what is the cause for the craving. You see, our cravings are signs that our being has a lack of something. As you probably know, I'm mostly a flexible vegetarian so I almost never eat meat, and don't enjoy red meat and if I were to eat it, it has to be cooked very well done. However, on occasion, once a year maybe, I may suddenly crave medium done red meat. What this tells me is that my body is lacking iron. Usually when I take an iron supplement or just eat some spinach the craving disappears. The same principle applies to other cravings in our life. What I'm wondering is, what is it in or about Across the Universe, that my soul has a need for?

Two Lies and a Truth

Following are ten sets of Two-Lies-and-a-Truth about me. Can you guess the Truths?

1. At a time as I child I considered becoming _______ when I grow up:
A. a policeman.
B. a porn star.
C. a horse trainer.

2. I dream of one day learning to:
A. fly a helicopter.
B. juggle.
C. cook Korean food.

3. I once considered studying:
A. Nano-engineering.
B. Biochemistry.
C. Criminology.

4. I'm sad when:
A. babies are born.
B. my baking flops.
C. my pens run out of ink.

5. I'm secretly a fan of:
A. Justin Bieber.
B. Robbie Williams.
C. Apple products.

6. An instrument I would like to own is:
A. a saxophone.
B. a theremin.
C. a xylophone.

7. A piano style I would like to master is:
A. jazz piano.
B. classical piano.
C. acoustic piano.

8. Poetry I wish I could write better is:
A. political poetry.
B. limericks.
C. psalms.

9. The fruit I consume the most is:
A. tangerines.
B. apples.
C. bananas.

10. My hair that bothers me the most is my:
A. grey hair.
B. nose hair.
C. shoulder hair.

"You Owe Me Nothing in Return"

Alanis Morissette's song "You Owe Me Nothing in Return" effectively summarises how I understand love in a relationship ought to be. It describes an unselfish version of love -- "the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is." Unfortunately there are so few people mature enough, and secure enough, to understand and want such a love and a relationship based on such a love. It requires complete trust of and faith in your partner. It also requires self-assurance. There is no room for self-pity and insisting in your partner fulfilling your selfish needs.

I hope to one day find a person to share a relationship based on such an understanding of love. And I hope that when I find that person that I will have grown adequately to present my partner with this type of love in return.



"You Owe Me Nothing In Return"

I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I'll hold it
You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I'll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet you wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I'll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion and I'll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

11.11.11

November 11 (11.11) is Pepero Day in South Korea. A Pepero 빼빼로 is a "cookie [stick] dipped in chocolate", a favourite snack in South Korea and Japan, where it is known as Pocky. Pepero Day is somewhat similar to Valentine's Day, but instead of chocolates, roses or other typical Valentine's Day gifts, the gift of choice is Peperos.

This year, however, November 11th is extra special in Korea as children born will have identity numbers that start with "111111". To ensure that their children have a sestet of ones in their identity numbers many pregnant mothers have gone out of their way to get c-section surgeries scheduled for today. According to Reuters, c-sections scheduled for 11 November 2011 is up by 20% from usual. (I'm obliged to a South African friend for sending me the link to the news article.)

Speaking of South Africa, annually on the weekend closest to 11 November, South Africa celebrates Poppy Day. It is in remembrance of those that died and fought in battle during World War I, World War II and other wars. World War I ended at the eleventh hour on 11 November 1918 when Germany signed the armistice. In South Africa it is known as Poppy Day because poppy flowers are traditionally sold as part of fundraising initiatives by the South African Legion to help veterans of war. The poppy was chosen because it grew on the battlefields of Flanders (Western Front), where many soldiers died. A poem written by Colonel John McCrae (a Canadian medic) brought wider attention to the poppie connection.

In Flanders Fields -- John McCrae

In Flanders fields, the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place;wait and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead, short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields!

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands, we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields!

The red poppie became the symbolic flower of remembrance.

In South Africa Poppy Day remembrance ceremonies are held on the Saturday nearest 11 November and some services are also held on the adjacent Sunday. It is not a national holiday, so I'm not sure how many people actually observe it, but it's function is similar to Remembrance Day or Armistice Day celebrated by countries of the Common Wealth and Veterans Day in the United States which is also celebrated on November 11th. South African's typically use Poppy Day to remember South African soldiers who died in WWI, WWII, the Korean War and Border War, as well as surviving veterans of war. Ceremonies are typically held in Cape Town and Pretoria.

November 11 is also Nigel Tufnel Day kept by the cult following of the 1984 mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap. This day was chosen because of the recurrence of the number 11, which became a significant number in the movie, based on one particularly scene in which the character Nigel Tufnel explains how they can turn the volume of their amplifiers "up to eleven", making them "one louder" that other bands that can only go up to ten. The quote "up to eleven" has become pop-culture idiom, suggesting that something is done better, beyond it's expected limitations. I'm not sure exactly how one celebrates Nigel Tufnel Day; I guess you make sure to do something "up to eleven."

Also from popular culture and linked with 11 November 2011 is the movie that is supposed to have been released today, 11-11-11. While it may have gone on circuit in other parts of the world, I didn't see it showing in Korea (I went to the movies today). Then again, I'm not particularly interested as I avoid horror movies; this film was directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, the director of SAW II, III and IV, none of which I've seen. On the other hand, I do like science-fiction films and this is a sci-fi horror. I'll wait a bit and first see how it rates on RottenTomatoes before I make my decision.

On a more philosophical note, 11 November is the anniversary of the death of the Christian philosopher Søren Aabye Kierkegaard, the father of Existentialism. Existentialist thought was most notably expounded upon by later philosophers like Friedrich Nietzche, Martin Heidegger, and Jean-Paul Sartre, but it was Kierkegaard that first focussed on the human dilemma of freedom of choice and the existential angst this causes. He wrote about it in his book The Concept of Anxiety. One example in which he explains this angst requires us to imagine a man standing on the edge of a very tall building and looking down. The man experience two kinds of fear: "the fear of falling, and fear brought on by the impulse to throw himself off the edge. This second type of fear, or anxiety, arises from the realization that he has absolute freedom to choose whether to jump or not, and this fear is as dizzying as his vertigo" (The Philosophy Book, p. 195). In short, Kierkegaard argued that apart from the freedom to be born, God endowed us with free choice. Because making life-altering decisions always cause much angst in me, I'm quite attracted to the Existentialists. Kierkegaard died at the young age of 42 on 11 November 1855.

11 November 2011 is also a day on which New Agers celebrate "Interconnectedness Day", with heavy focus on the Green Agenda. Previous such Interconnectedness Days were celebrated on 10 October 2010 and 9 September 2009. I guess next year on 12 December 2012 will be the last year Interconnectedness Day will be celebrated in a very very long time.

On a personal note, my first best friend, Matthys du Preez, and I used to celebrate 11 November as our friendship day. I can't remember exactly what the reason was that we chose this day as our friendship day, but we celebrated it as a birthday. Matthys was literally my first friend. I cannot recall any friend before him. Our parents were friends and because we were of the same age we naturally became friends. We also went to the same elementary school (a "plaasskool") together. We grew up on farms in the same farming community and there was only one elementary school where all the children in the community went -- a little school with hardly 300 pupils. We were so close in personality that many people mistook us as twins, to our delight -- I guess the fact that we often dressed alike contributed to it. We often finished each other's sentences and my mother told me that we seemed to communicate telepathically as we would sometimes just look at each other and seem to know what the other was thinking. Unfortunately my first best friend moved away when we were about 11 years old and due to the distance our friendship waned until we completely lost contact. In recent years I've started to increasingly think about my old friend. I was able to look him up and sent him an email with the hopes of meeting with him at the beginning of this year while I was in South Africa, but he didn't respond to my email. I guess he's not as sentimental as I am about those early years. In our late teens, early twenties, we both lost our mothers to illness. I think we could have been a great comfort to each other had we stayed in contact. I sometimes wish I could have been there for him during that time of loss and during other trials he may have experienced as a child. I have fond memories of our friendship and I remember quite distinctly the good and caring friend he was. I am very blessed with some great friends in my life. I have, in part, Matthys to thank for that. Because my first friendship had been such a very close one, that has become my expectation of a real friendship. Matthys' care and loyalty as a young boyhood friend inspired me to become the same type of friend later in my life.

Happy 11 November, for whatever reason you decide to celebrate it.

My kar is gevind!

Wie sou dit nou kon raai?

Ek het verlede week gerapporteer oor my kar in Suid-Afrika wat gesteel is. In die skrywe het ek genoem dat "if it is found I doubt will be worth more than its value in scrap, for the robbers will strip it down to its frame." Ek was verkeerd. Die kar is vandag gevind en die skelms het sowaar waarde toegevoeg tot my motor!

Hier is die kort e-posboodskap wat ek van my broer se lewensmaat ontvang het. (Haar seun is 'n polisieman.)

Ek hoop ek bring baie goeie nuus. My seun het vandag in Orange Farms gewerk en soos hul ry, sien hy 'n blou golf van voor af aankom en besluit om hom af te trek en doen die nodige ''chassis'' en enjin nr toetse oor polisie radio. Daarna bel hy my en vra vir kenmerke en ek noem 'n hele spul goed en hy antw...mamma ek't die golfie gekry. Hy't 2 gearresteer. [Jou broer] gaan mre oggend voertuigtak toe in Vereeniging. Die kar is oorgespray, volgens [my seun] lyk die kar mooi en daar is 2 nuwe mags agter op, maar daars nou 'n ander injin in, 'n passat enjin. So ja, sal jou weer na more op hoogte hou. Prys ons Hemelse Pappa...dankie Jesus.

Hoop my boodskap bring 'n glimlag op jou gesig.

Ek was in die versoeking gebring om te dink dat die rede hoekom ek my rugsak, wat nou die dag verlore geraak het, weer kon opsoor te make het met die veilige hawe wat Suid-Korea is; en dat ek nooit weer my kar sou sien nie omdat Suid-Afrika so 'n kriminele plek is. Die onwaarskynlikheid om my kar weer terug te kry is 'n wonderwerk en dit herinner my dat my rugsak, met al die waardevolle items wat daarin was, wat ek terug gekry het ook 'n wonderwerk is en nie eenvoudig met Suid-Korea se veiligheid te make het nie. Ek het allermins gebid! Alhoewel ek al baie dinge hier verloor het en weer terug gekry het, het ek ook al duur dinge hier verloor en nooit weer terug gekry nie.

Wenke vir die skryf van gedigte

Image Source

Ek het verlede semester 'n kort seminaar gegee in die skryf van poësie. Hier is drie (en twee-derdes) van my hoofwenke:

• Maak abstrakte stellinge konkreet en konkrete stellinge interesant (deur die gebruik van beelde en simbole -- vergelykings en metafore).
• Kommunikeer gevoel, maar vermy sentiment en clichés. 
• Vermy (eind-)rym, tensy die gedig dit vereis. (Betekenisvolle binnerym skep 'eenheid' in die gedig en is wenslik. Daarinteen laat gedwonge eindrym die gedig na 'n 'rympie' lyk -- definitief onwenslik!)

Lekker skryf!

Sien my gedigte-blog: Ingelegde Lywe.

Kommunikasie is uitputtend

Is moeg.

Het sopas terug gekom na 'n kuier met 'n Koreaanse vriend. Sy Engels is so beperk soos my Koreaans. Jy sal nie glo hoe uitputtend dit is om in twee gebroke tale te kommunikeer nie.

Ek het die vriend seker 'n jaar en 'n half, moontlik twee jaar, gelede laas gesien. Volgens hom het my Koreaans baie verbeter. Persoonlik dink ek dat ek net 'n paar bywoorde by gekry het.

Dankie tog vir vertalende woordeboeke!

Car Got Stolen

Isn't it ironic how my previous (Afrikaans) post was about how much I miss the farm ("Die plaas"); i.e., how I miss South Africa, and then I get the news from my brother that my car in South Africa got stolen yesterday. Now foil this against the post I wrote on Monday ("Lost & Found") about losing my backpack with all its valuables inside here in Korea, but getting it all back intact--not a dime missing. While the possibility of getting things back in Korea is quite high, the possibility for the same thing happening in South Africa is pretty darn small. I have little hope that my car will be found and if it is found I doubt will be worth more than its value in scrap, for the robbers will strip it down to its frame.

Admittedly, it is not a terrible loss for me personally. Since I live in Korea and only visit South Africa for a couple of weeks per year it is not as if I'm using the car regularly. Okay, so it wasn't an expensive car. As a rather old Volkswagen Golf, it is considered an entry level car and is probably worth less than R10 000, based on today's exchange rate that is less than US$1300. 

During my 2009 visit in South Africa I lost a tyre after
I hit a pothole. It was a lovely day to change a tyre,
and I didn't even get robbed, raped or hijacked.
One has to count one's blessings! 

Nonetheless, it is still a loss. It is something that belonged to me and that was taken away from me. Furthermore, I lend my car, which is pretty light on fuel consumption, to my brother whom is going through some financial difficulty. So not only was I stolen from, those I care for are inconvenienced by this crime. 

Now here is the truly disturbing thing. I am thankful that my brother was not in the car when it was stolen, because hijackings in South Africa often lead to the murder of the victim. I am thankful that my family was not harmed and weighed against their lives, I'd gladly give up a car. What is sad about it, is that South Africa is such a criminally violent place that when your car gets stolen without someone being injured or killed in the process, you consider it a blessing. "Hey, my car got stolen. Nobody's dead. What a blessing!" Sadly this is not a joke. I spoke to a South African friend a week ago, who told me of a friend of his who was stabbed to death a few days earlier. The robbers took his cellphone. In South Africa a life is worth a cellphone! For South Africans such crimes are so common that we forget that it is actually abnormal. We live there without thinking it strange. Here in Korea I enter my apartment and immediately lock the door behind me. The force of habit. Most Koreans don't bother. In Korea I'm the strange one for being so over vigilant. In the martial art class when I teach self-defence they think my techniques are overly excessive and I guess in a country like Korea it probably is. 

Die plaas

Pierneef, "Plaas naby Derdepoort"
Beeldbron: Litnet

Ek wou 'n skrywe geskryf het oor my verlange na die plaas vandag, maar toe onthou ek dat ek reeds so 'n skrywe gemaak het sowat twee jaar gelede. As ek vandag die skrywe sou skryf, sou dit basies 'n woordelikse herhaling gewees het van wat ek toe geskryf het: Ek verlang na die plaas. Die plaas bestaan nie meer nie. Daar is dus geen lafenis aan my verlange nie.

In die verlede, nadat ons plaas onteien is, het ek darem weekliks 'n draai by een van my vriende wat ook toe nog op plase gebly het, gaan inloer. Op 'n Vrydagmiddag het ek saam met Howard die beeste gaan haal en kraal toe gejaag of oor 'n naweek het ek by Jaco gaan kuier en ook so tussen bees of skaap gaan stap. Vandag bly albei van hulle in dorpshuise.

My broer bly op 'n plot. 'n Plot is seker beter as 'n dorpshuis omdat daar darem diere op die plot is: perde, hoenders, honde. Maar 'n plot is nie 'n plaas nie en ek verlang na die plaas. Groot oop stroke veld. Doringbome. Reuse bloekoms. Klipperste klip. Rooi grond. Suid-Afrikaanse blou hemele. Kiewiete wat raas as jy verby stap.

Ek sit in my kantoor in Korea en merk vraestelle. 'n Kantoor is beslis nie 'n plaas nie. En Korea se plase is nie soos Suid-Afrika se plase nie.

Invention Idea: Clothing Database and Clothes Personificator

So I have a lot of clothes. Not ridiculous amounts of clothing, but enough so that I sometimes forget to where certain items, partly because I haven't truly looked at these items in a while and thought about wearing them.

So here is my invention idea: I want to invent a little microchip to embed in each clothing item, which will record the frequency with which I interact (i.e. take out of my closet and look at, and / or actually wear) each item. The information will then be stored in a database, which I'm sure will reveal certain trends. Obviously certain clothes will reveal to be seasonal--I'm unlikely to touch my winter clothes during high summer.

It will also show the clothes I hardly wear.The reason could be threefold. Some clothes are used for exclusive events. Take my suits, for instance. I have three. My black suit is something I'd only wear to a very formal night time event, or maybe a funeral. My other suits are also used for formal occasions such as banquets, when I give a special talk, when I attend ceremonies, etc. Secondly, it might be that the clothes don't fit me. I'm not speaking merely of size, but also of style. Finally, it could be merely that I've forgotten about certain clothing items and for that reason I do not wear them, or they have gotten too old, worn and tattered to wear. In all but the case of special event clothes, I ought to get rid of the other clothes--those that are too old, don't fit me, or don't fit my style.

Furthermore, the embedded chip could act to "personify" the clothes. Were I to look at the database I could see which clothing items I am neglecting. The neglected items could possibly show up in the database as feeling depressed, they may even send me a text message to my cellphone or a tweet enquiring why I'm neglecting them. Other clothing items could complain that I wear them too often. Certain pairs of socks that I wear often could, for instance, complain that they feel over used and that I will wear them out if I continue like this. They could do an online search and suggest me certain brands of socks that are similar in fabric and style.

The clothing items could also take note of which combinations (specific items or colours) I often wear together. Amongst themselves they could come up with possible other workable combinations that they could suggest I try. The yellow tie could possibly tell me that it would also be a good match with my navy blue shirt, so I don't always have to don the orange tie. The brown jersey could say that it would work equally well with that blue shirt, so I should give it a try, rather than always opting for the brown jacket.

So there is my invention idea. Anyone of you is welcome to take this idea from me on condition that you always supply me with a workable and updated version of the invention for personal use.