Movie Review: New Moon

(Image Source: Clevver)

Last week Friday afternoon I dashed off to the cinema to watch Twilight: New Moon. I predicted that I will be disappointed, and judging by my prediction I must be clairvoyant. What a terrible movie!

The main character is so pathetically emotionally dependent that it borders on neurosis. She gets night terrors, screaming herself and her poor dad awake every night for months on end. Surely such extreme behaviour indicates that something excessively traumatic must have happened. Surely her mother must have been tortured and eaten by Hannibal while she was forced to watch. Or surely she must have been gang raped by a mob of dirty bikers. Nope, nothing of the sort. The reason for her nightmare-screams is because she was dumped. Okay, so it was a vampire that dumped her, but still. She was dumped. Thousands of people get dumped every day and I doubt any of them reacts like Bella does. And it is around this point—her miserable emotional dependency—that the whole movie spins around.

I have never, in my whole life of watching movies, rolled my eyes that many times in one film – it’s so full of clichés.

I’m assuming that the climactic event in the Twilight series is when Bella Swan becomes herself the object of her desires – a vampire. Hopefully the werewolf clan will be close by to rip her apart, for she will surely make a terrible excuse of a vampire. Not that any of the vampires in this movie deserves to be called vampires. They are neither sinisterly scary, nor seductively sexy. Rather, they look like unhealthy catwalk models. If only the movie was something like the poster above. The werewolves are much more intriguing. It is just a pity that I’m not a dog-person.

For a good and much more thorough review of the movie, visit Kiss My Kimchi.