Friday, 16 November 2012

About Eve

The last two nights I had the strangest dreams, both regarding a college sweetheart, whom for the purposes of this post I will call Eve.

In the first dream, two nights ago, I dreamed that I was flirting with Eve. Trying very hard to get her attention romantically. Although she was very cordial towards me, she just didn't show any romantic interest at all. An interesting fact is that while at university Eve was very much in love with me. However, in this dream there was not a single drop of interest.

Then this morning I dreamed of Eve again. In this dream Eve was a divorced single mother and she, her son, myself and a number of people were gathered for a social event--something like a Sunday luncheon. We were sitting at the table when Eve's boy who was around four or five years old, was behaving badly. I can't remember exactly what he did, but let's for the sake of the story say that he was banging his cutlery on the plates. I looked at him seriously and sternly said "no!". At this the boy started crying, and caused Eve to be very upset with my. "You don't have the right to discipline my child," she told me and the whole atmosphere at the social gathering suddenly became very tense, so much so that I decided it is better if I left.

I need to add that another reason these dreams are so peculiar is that Eve has been dead for a decade now. She was killed in a car accident, so we never had an opportunity to further pursue our potential relationship, and neither did she have a chance to get married and have children. An interesting side point is that my previous girlfriend is in fact a single mother. So my subconscious is here mixing two of my previous relationships, that of Eve and that of my X. The theme of the dreams is my attempt at being close to Eve, but in both dreams she pushes me away.

Eve was my first "relationship" as an adult. I had some girlfriends as a child, but Eve is the person I consider my first true relationship, even though our relationship was a little bit of a roller coaster. That my subconscious should evoke Eve to the forefront must be significant, particularly so long after her passing. But what exactly is the significance of Eve. I've come to some preliminary conclusions and am quite curious as to what is happening in the secret passages of my subconsciousness.

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